he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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