love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
