Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
