Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
