this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
My feet surprised me
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
