just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
