How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
