I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize