I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
