I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
