Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
