happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Houston, we have a squirter
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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