i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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