Swine flu is the new snow day.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
