I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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