Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
