Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I have fence marks all over my body
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
