i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize