WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
