I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
