did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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