She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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