I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
