So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Did I show you my penis last night?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
