Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
