Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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