I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
