So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Randomize
