we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
