she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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