Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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