whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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