I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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