I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
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