eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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