OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Randomize
