Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
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