She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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