do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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