garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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