He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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