you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
