Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
