I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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