The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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