I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
pop tarts are not kleenex
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
you will always have a special place in my vag
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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