Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
