what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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