Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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