I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
