...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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