so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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