Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize