so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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