I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Boobs speak an international language.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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