I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
