It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
