i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
