how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
