The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
