I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
