I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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