My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
