I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
